I was reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle the other day. There’s a part where the narrator talks to his wife over the phone while she’s at work. She’s yet to have breakfast so he tells her about the sandwich he prepared for himself. The wife replies “Hmm”, he says there was no jealousy in her response.
I can’t remember where but I once read that before social media, books used to be the only source to see how others lived. I disagree. What about walking into your friend or neighbor’s house and seeing how they live, their video games and magazine subscriptions? Seeing how your coworkers dress and eat and drink at work? What about simply asking them? The problem books solve for us, I think, is seeing how others think, the voice in their heads.
I too have shared things I’ve wanted to show off, like a meal I cooked myself, and been disheartened by the lack of jealousy in people’s responses. I’ve never articulated it the way Murakami did it nor heard someone say they’ve felt that same emotion, so seeing it on paper felt so good that I paused, looked up and grinned for a bit. It happens a lot with the writers I like. Shame, jealousy, longing and curiosity – I’ve only discussed these with a few of my female friends to the extent that I have seen them represented in books.
I remember writing my first few blogposts and never wondering if someone might relate, I didn’t expect anyone to. Probably because I felt like my life was so different from most people’s, so surely my thoughts must also differ? When I had my first heartbreak and Miriam said to me, Everyone feels this way Paru, you’ll get over it with time, I shot back Don’t say that, that’s not true! How the hell was that supposed to console me anyway? I also didn’t believe that it could hurt everyone or even a lot of people as much as it hurt me, this pain simply couldn’t be universal. I’m older now so I now know there was some truth in what both of us believed.
I’m glad that social media is changing things and is filled with folks oversharing random and sometimes their most intimate thoughts and emotions, looking to find others to relate with. I hope we live through the phase of validation-hungry, influencer-title seeking users, and that the wholesome habits live on.
I, like other humans, want to see how others live and the most crucial part of it is surely how they feel.
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